EDD sucks. The website sucks. The telephonic service (what little there is) sucks.

It feels intentional. Just one glance at how poorly it operated during the Pandemic–and before, and afterward–is enough to convince any intelligent human that this is a woefully underfunded, poorly administered department.

Here’s the email I sent to the California Labor and Workforce Development Agency:

“Hi Labor Persons,

I’m a Substitute Teacher.

The terrifying financial hardship that looms over me if I am unable to file a new claim with EDD prompts this email, as there is apparently **no possible way** to contact EDD: nobody answers the phone, and there’s a mysterious “Error” every time I send an inquiry. Believe it or not, nobody responds to my inquiries.

This feels intentional. Every single tax-paying citizen with whom I’ve spoken in my personal and professional life, of every political stripe, feels the same: the EDD website is intentionally impenetrable because the state doesn’t want to fulfill its obligations to pay us the unemployment to which we are entitled.

You work for the California Labor & Workforce Development Agency, I know I don’t need to tell you these are our dollars, taken from our paychecks.

Financial Hardship is what I need to tell you. And yeah, I know, you’re probably not anyone high up in the food chain. But please, if there’s anything you can do, please help me. I don’t know what else to do.

Best,

Edward Hightower
(XXX) XXX-XXXX”

Here’s their response:

“Your email has been forwarded to the appropriate personnel at the Employment Development Department (EDD). However, you may want to reach out the EDD.

EDD Phone #: 1-800-300-5616

EDD Director Office Phone #: (916) 654-8210

Unemployment Insurance (UI) Phone #: 1-800-300-5616 or (916) 654-7401

State Disability Insurance (SDI) Phone #: (916) 654-0453

California Unemployment Insurance Appeals Board (CUIAB) Phone #: (916) 263-6803

Thank you, have a great day!”

And here’s what I wrote to them:

“Hi there!

Thank you so much for forwarding my email.

I’ve called all the numbers appropriate for reaching the EDD; in every case, just after I enter my social security number, the automated message is that they are receiving more calls than they can handle, and I should call back later.

The eternal lament of the unemployed: Why do they not have an option to have someone from EDD call us back? I would happily sing the praises of EDD if something like this were implemented and if it actually functioned.

I mean, look how quickly you responded to me. I’ve never had a response like this from EDD. The one time I’ve had a conversation with someone from EDD was years ago — maybe 2010 — and their entire demeanor was so incredibly unpleasant that I felt emotionally bruised for the next two days. It made me never want to talk to anyone from EDD, ever again. They’ve certainly never responded to any of my written messages — if they’ve ever even received them.

Of course, I’m painfully aware that you may be a bot. The listing of the numbers to call (when we both know none would go through) feels bot-like. I don’t mean this as an insult, I imagine that if you are human, you have very specific responses you’re required to send in order to be as robotic as possible, and you’ll probably get in trouble with a supervisor if you reveal humanity.

I understand: I once worked in corporate retail.

Best,

Edward Hightower”

But then! THIS HAPPENED! Even as I was hitting send on that email, this one arrived:

“Good morning Mr. Hightower,

First, I’d like to apologize for the frustration you must be feeling and we’re sorry your experience thus far with EDD has been a poor one.

I wanted to reach out and let you know the Director’s Office is in receipt of your correspondence below. I have forwarded the email to the Unemployment Insurance Branch (UIB). You should receive a callback from them within the next few days. I’m sorry I’m unable to give you a more exact timeframe but rest assured, you will be called. Please be available for the call during normal business hours, 8 AM – 5 PM Pacific Time. If you do not receive a callback by Friday, please reach back out to us and we will personally follow-up with UIB.

Thank you!

Brad Simmons
Pronouns: He/Him/His
Executive Secretary II
Director’s Office, MIC #83
Directorate

State of California
Employment Development Department
PO Box 826880
Sacramento, CA 94280
http://www.edd.ca.gov

Our Business is Your Success”

And of course because I’m unwell, this was my response:

“Good Morning Mr. Simmons,

In the graphic novel of my life, I’m sitting in a coffee shop with my jaw on the floor and a skyscraper-sized exclamation point over my head. I don’t know if I can express the degree of shock — and possible* delight — I feel at receiving your missive.

So first, I want to say THANK YOU! 😀, because I never expected a response like this. In fact, I just finished a response to the initial email I received, thanking them for forwarding my email even if they’re a bot (while simultaneously expressing doubt that there would ever be any further response).

*This asterisk is here because my delight is provisional, cautious and rooted in the soil of long experience and disappointment. One does not want to jinx oneself.

Here’s my question for you: what can I tell my fellow Substitutes (and other unemployed persons in my acquaintance) about how to penetrate or bypass the EDD Wall of Confusion? Should everyone email the LWDA, or is there an easier route? I like everything I see about how MyEDD is being made incredibly amazing and stuff, but I feel you should know (if you don’t already) that the CA DMV website has actually surpassed EDD in functionality, flow and usefulness.

Now that I’ve said that in print, I fear I may have triggered the End Times: And Lo! The Substitute Teacher with an AME CTE credential (whose 35 years of experience as actor and director make him imminently qualified to teach theatre in Alameda County) did say unto them: DMV surpasseth EDD! And the stars did fall from the heavens like figs, and the moon did bleed, and the sun sang only sad songs as the Disco Ragnarok began!

All of which is to say: because of you, sir, I am cautiously optimistic.

Thanking you and knocking wood, I wish you the very

Best,

Edward Hightower”

That’s where things rest right now. Fingers crossed, as noted above. Will update when awesomeness awesomes awesomely.